Dirty thoughts and high anxiety

OMIGOD, OMIGOD,OMIGOD!!!!!!!

OMIGOD, OMIGOD,OMIGOD!!!!!!!

I’ve been having anxiety attacks for the last several days, especially leading up to Saturday.

Saturday was the first time I published a column as the Voices page editor, and while it was truly needed, it scared the crap out of me, quite honestly. I’m waiting till I get to work tomorrow to check my work email to see if it resulted in letters drying up completely and hoping that’s not what happens.

Steph and I have been dealing with some letter-writers who have been using bullying to get their way, which we know is not cool with me by any stretch of the imagination, But then again, I’ve always been too nice for my own good. The column was meant to address complaints from these bullies, but not in a pissy way (no matter how much I’d love to do that).

The most recent lovely person was someone who decided to kick up a fuss because I wouldn’t print his bathroom humor and sex jokes in the paper … which is a family newspaper … that employs me to uphold its standards.

Not that me doing my job matters. We simply must print tasteless Viagra jokes that aren’t even funny.

nothilarious

And when I again (yep, not the first time) inform him that we can’t print sex and defecation jokes, I’m sent an email full of spelling errors telling me that his “humor is very funny” and that he’s going to make sure my policies are changed. Sure, go ahead while I watch something that’s actually funny (Monty Python’s Holy Grail, take me away!).

So, yeah, I guess soon I’ll be publishing Penthouse Forum on the letters page. That’ll get the Bible-thumpers riled up …

****

Meanwhile, as I close, if you haven’t seen Texts from Mittens, you need to … I’d almost swear that Luke is actually Mittens, but then I remember I hate cell phones, so he has no texting access (Hah!).

A particularly Luke-like entry:

From "Texts from Mittens" at catster.com.

From “Texts from Mittens” at catster.com.