You’re outta here!

Where can I get a royal robe like that?
Image found on mastermarf.com.

For those who hoped I was done talking about words for a while, sorry. Well, not really. I am a word nerd after all.

Lake Superior State University had its say on words that merit banishment, and now it’s Voices readers’ turn.

One reader went all out and made me chortle so much he might have heard it in Searcy. He used up a boatload of cliches, so we may have to come up with more. (I still threaten occasionally to write something that’s nothing but cliches, but he beat me to it.)

John McPherson wrote: “I fear I may sound like a broken record and maybe I am just beating a dead horse trying to make it go to water to drink but one word that just makes me gnash my teeth while climbing the walls screaming like a banshee is ‘snuck’ used in place of sneaked. I would rather hear a thousand ain’ts than one snuck, but I guess I’m just one lonely onion in a petunia patch as far as that goes. At the end of the day, few care what I think.

And they should stay off my lawn!
Image found on imgflip.

“Going from words to phrases that need to be banished, ‘at the end of the day’ would probably head my list. Many euphemisms are useful but some are overused such as ‘passed away’ in place of died to the extent that I have heard of a beached whale passing away on the beach. Also galling to me are hunters and newspaper writers using ‘take’ or ‘taking’ instead of ‘kill’ or ‘killing.’ Thanks for letting me vent, steam, rail and rant.”

You’re welcome, John! And anytime you want to gripe, bellyache, carp and denounce, you know where to find me.

John wasn’t the only one who’d love to see “at the end of the day” kick the bucket. Karl Hansen is also no fan of the phrase, as well as “going forward” (both phrases that annoy me as well), and “that humbles me,” which he described as “an asinine expression used by a gob of politicos who’ve just been elevated above their competency level.”

Of course, being humble hasn’t exactly been much of a problem of late among many politicians.

I think he’s been taking debate lessons from 6-year-olds.
Original photo by Mikhail Klimentiev/Agence France-Presse—Getty Images.

Another Karl, Karl Kimball, has a hated word from the political realm, writing, “My nomination for ‘banned’ word: collusion. It isn’t intrinsically a crime, and is being thrown around vituperatively by people with a history of colluding, including to undo an election!” But whether collusion happened is up to those investigating it, isn’t it? And there all those collateral crimes being investigated as well, so … yeah, gonna leave it to Mueller.

Laurence Gray and Pat Phillips have some peeves involving the language of common courtesy. Laurence wrote, “I would like to see ‘my bad’ permanently banished because it supposedly means ‘my mistake’.”

I once worked with someone who it seemed said “My bad” with every other sentence, so I completely sympathize. Somehow I managed not to slap him when he did—a triumph of self-control there, believe me.

Pat wrote that she is bothered “when I say ‘thank you’ to someone (generally a younger person) and they say ‘no problem’ instead of ‘you’re welcome’.” Admittedly I have sometimes done this even though I try not to. Just can’t control that tongue at times. I’m also guilty of using Pat’s other peeve, starting sentences with “so.” So … I should really stop that.

I shall count them as I eat them so that they won’t be countless. If they’re the minis, almonds or caramel, you might want to leave the room.
Image found on Garnish and Glaze.

News clerk extraordinaire and fellow word nerd CB Byrd is irritated when people use “countless,” and rightly so, because as he told me, just because you don’t know the number doesn’t meant that something can’t be counted. If you’re talking about stars in the sky, we can let that go, but something like M&Ms in a bowl … nah. And those M&Ms are gonna disappear if I’m in the room.

Tom Barron wrote: “Your column today on banished words was ‘awesome.’ And unless it has already been added to the list, I think ‘awesome’ should be included next time. That would be ‘amazing’!” Well, Lake Superior State banished “awesome” twice, in 1984 and 2007 (apparently the first one didn’t take), mostly because of the straying from its actual meaning (causing awe or dread) to how it’s currently mostly used to say, “Hey, that’s great.” “Amazing,” by the way, was banished in 2012.

Finally, Bill Polk is “weary of hearing about all those things that we deserve, from the best car to the most comprehensive insurance. What did we do to ‘deserve’ it? Are we each so special that no one is special?”

He’s right, and I’m getting flashbacks from The Incredibles. I think we all deserve a break from being so deserving. It’s exhausting.

I still advocate for the removal of “fake news” from the language. In the past week we’ve seen even more debasement of actual definitions for “fake news” and other terms like “hoax,” “accomplishments” and, good lord, “stable” and “genius,” and I can only hope that we can reclaim real meaning.

I’m starting to wonder if at the end of all this we’ll all just be drooling in the corner with the other “stable genius.”

That stable genius Mr. Ed is rolling in his grave right now.

But if he were alive today, maybe he could be …
Image found on imgflip.

27 thoughts on “You’re outta here!”

  2. Brenda I would like to encourage you to continue writing about words (says your fellow word nerd). I enjoy reading your comments about words and how they are misused, abused, and mistreated by functionally illiterate people. So far as I am concerned, you are welcome to gripe, bitch, grumble, and complain about the misuse and abuse of perfectly good words and language.
    In my line of work in an intensive care unit, we say the patient has “died” on the rare occasions when that happens despite our best efforts. We are a team and we take a lot of pride in our ability to save lives and keep people alive when it seems as if there is no hope for the patient. Unfortunately, though, sometimes we get patients who are too sick to be saved.
    Slapping people who misuse and abuse words is not be a good idea because there is a chance you might break your hand.
    Like Pat Phillips I prefer for people to say “You’re welcome” instead of “no problem”.
    According to a certain song from “The Sound Of Music”, SO is “a needle pulling thread”.
    If you use the word “countless” when you are talking about female human beings, do not forget the “O”.
    What if you think you “deserve” something because you have paid your dues and earned it through hard work?
    Do you know what is really exhausting? Installing a muffler in your car.
    According to the song “Billy’s Mule”, the President occasionally calls the Mule for advice.
    If a patient swallows six plastic horses, would it be correct to say that the patient’s condition is “stable”?

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      • I was thinking about those politicians who have trouble being humble. There are a lot of musicians who have trouble being humble also. The worst offenders seem to be the ones who have oversized egos and undersized talent. I have noticed that the musicians who have been successful as professionals have usually (but not always) learned how to keep their egos under control. They are more fun to play music with.

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      • Speaking of undersized egos and oversized talent, one of my mentors/teachers was a man who played piano in the late Marty Robbins backup band when Robbins went on the road. He told me an interesting story about Robbins. Would you like to read this story?

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  6. After a performance, no matter how hot, sweaty, and tired he was from performing, Robbins would stay around to sign autographs and pose for pictures with his fans until everyone who wanted an autograph or a picture or an autographed picture had one. Then, and only then, would Robbins get on the bus so they could drive to their next gig. The band members would help Robbins with this. There were good reasons Robbins’ fans were loyal to him.

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  7. Sometime last year, in some of my comments on Facebook, I borrowed some of the words and the phrases from the comic strip POGO by Walt Kelly. A member of the infamous Grammar Police who was probably too young to have heard of POGO corrected my spelling and my grammar. They had a superior, condescending, and patronizing attitude towards me. They seemed to think I was stupid and uneducated as well as under-educated. I recommended that this person read some of the POGO comic strips which are available on various web sites. No they had never heard of POGO or Walt Kelly.

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  8. My late aunt Jerrie was a word nerd also (it runs in the family) and she sent me the following joke about “unique”. How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.

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  9. When Jerrie was younger, she was a natural blonde. Before she died five years ago, she would send me some of the best and worst blonde jokes I have ever read.

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