Listen to Bill.
GIF found on giphy.

Confusion seemed to reign last week, and that was before my bout with the flu.

Lake Superior State University, troublemaker that it is, added to the confusion and released its 44th annual “List of Words Banished from the Queen’s English for Mis-use, Over-use and General Uselessness” a day earlier than usual. According to the comments I read, it irked quite a few who pointed out that tradition holds it be released on either Dec. 31 or Jan. 1. Darn Michigan academe, always trying to mess with us. How dare they.

I wasn’t bothered by the early release, but I managed to miss it when it came out. Sure, it might have been the bustle of the holiday and trying to get everything done for the Voices page, but still … This week, then, we’ll delve into some of the words on that list.

Among the words to banish:

🚢 “Wheelhouse,” as in area of expertise. Chris of Battle Creek, Mich., said, “It’s not in my wheelhouse to explain why dreadful words should be banished!” Kevin of Portland, Ore., added, “It’s an awkward word to use in the 21st century. Most people have never seen a wheelhouse.”

I think I’ve gone wheely crazy.
Image found on Wikimedia Commons.

An actual wheelhouse would be a small enclosed section of a boat’s bridge (more specifically, that of a steamboat) that historically holds the steering wheel. In baseball, it refers to a batter’s power zone—where the batter swings with the most power or strength, according to The Dickson Baseball Dictionary, which is probably how it came to mean something that plays to our strengths.

📖 “In the books,” as in finished or concluded.

“In the books” strikes me as yet another cliché used when the writer writes like he’s being paid by the word (I know a few who do this). “To be sure” and “at the end of the day” qualify as well … in irritating me. Most of the time it’s unnecessary filler. Being clearer and more succinct is preferred. If not, at least be funny. C’mon, you can do that.

😈  “Collusion,” as in two or more parties limiting competition by deception. John of Grosse Pointe Park, Mich., wrote, “We all need to collude on getting rid of this word.”

I’m pretty sure I know someone else who wants to be rid of it since he’s forever telling us there is no collusion. Or “collussion,” as he said in that one tweet that resulted in him being trolled by Dictionary.com. Fun times.

Gee, remember when that was the biggest worry?

⚖️ “OTUS” family of acronyms such as POTUS, FLOTUS, SCOTUS. David of Kinross, Mich., said they are “Overused useless [words] for the president, Supreme Court, first lady.”

This is one of the photos Michael kept at his desk, and it always cracked me up how much Otus looked like he was about to tell 1984 Bill Clinton to bow down to him. As you should to any cat.
Image found on Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.

But we at the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette are fond of one Otus—that would be the Head Cat. Like Owner (and TV writer) Michael Storey, he is much missed around here. Otus did manage once to fool a lot of people with a bit of fake news about Nixon and Presidents Day (because people tend to gloss over the disclaimer about it being “humorous fabrication” … and apparently think a deceased cat writing a column is perfectly normal). But he’s a cat, so I’ll forgive him and Michael, may they rest in peace.

👻 “Ghosting,” as in withdrawing from communication with someone. Carrie of Caledonia, Mich., wrote, “Somebody doesn’t want to talk with you. Get over it. No need to bring the paranormal into the equation.”

I hear Caspar and the pirates from Pirates of the Caribbean are quite upset about this one. For me, it’s just one more of the newer texting, etc., terms that make me roll my eyes. I guess I’m just too old for it, and getting older on Sunday. Sigh. But at least I can commiserate with my birthday buddies. (Hi, Sarah and John, and happy birthday, a day late, to Earl!)

How dare they do their jobs!
Editorial cartoon by Dan Wasserman, Boston Globe.

👁 “Optics.” Bob of Tempe, Ariz., said it’s just “the trendy way to say ‘appearance’.” Yep, it is, and it’s annoying, but likely to stick around, especially during an administration always concerned with how certain people view its actions. The media need a punchy word to describe that, and that word is “optics.”

There are other punchy words, but a lot of them aren’t suitable for a family publication.

💡 “Thought Leader.” Matt of Superior, Colo., wrote, “Thoughts aren’t ranked or scored. How can someone hold a thought-lead, much less even lead by thought?” Paul of Ann Arbor, Mich., added, “If you follow a thought leader, you’re not much of a thinker.”

I feel like that one needs a “ba-dum-bum.” And “thought leader” needs to take “social media influencer” with it.

Elections are important, but they can’t all be the most important. This isn’t grandma’s house.
Editorial cartoon by Rob Rogers, Andrews McMeel Syndication.

🗳 “Most important election of our time.” For the first time in my memory, an Arkansan was quoted in the press release announcing the list. José of Ozark opined, “Not that we haven’t had six or seven back-to-back most important elections of our time.” (We can be cranky in them thar hills.)

Who’s judging the importance of these elections anyway? I’d say most elections are important, but few could ever qualify as “most important” of our time. But hyperbole doesn’t care. Neither do the people who rely on it to communicate (like some orange-tinged weirdo).

Other words and phrases included on the latest list: “Wrap my head around,” “platform,” “yeet,” “litigate,” “grapple,” “eschew,” “crusty,” “legally drunk,” “importantly,” and “accoutrements.”

The list isn’t as interesting as some in years past, but then, not every year can have a “fake news” (last year) or “an accident that didn’t have to happen” (2006). Remember, the university has no power to actually banish the words and phrases, so you won’t be jailed or fined for using them.

You will, though, probably get the stinkeye. Luke was really good at that.

If you sense a stinkeye from above, it’s my boy.

I’m still getting notes from readers who are irritated by some words and wish they’d just go away. I can’t disagree with them.

Art Pfeifer is bugged by “funeralized,” which the university banished in 1981, proving that some words just won’t go away no matter how much we want them to. When I dealt with obituaries all the time on the clerks’ desk, I would occasionally come across it, and it always made me cringe. Just because it’s a real word doesn’t mean I have to like it.

We must not bow to the robot overlords.
Image found on Ken Nickerson’s Twitter page.

Jack W. Hill (literally one of my favorite people, and a former co-worker) despises “price point” (banished in 2016) and “human resources,” which surprisingly has yet to be drubbed.

There’s something very creepy and Terminator-like in the phrase “human resources” … will we also have an “AI resources” soon? Will Bot349 be processing my paperwork? Is human resources anything like To Serve Man???

No wonder I haven’t gotten much sleep lately.