Reverse psychology in action.
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A lot of you out there are much like me, especially when it comes to being told you can’t do something. It makes you want to do it all the more (reverse psychology, anyone?), and in this instance, you probably feel the urge to go out and play (hey, you can almost play in the street right now), cough on people who annoy you, and maybe lick a few lamp posts  (thank God it’s not cold). In the end, though, you won’t … because you’re nice and you don’t want to hurt anyone (even those really annoying people, who probably do do those things).

So you stay in and work from home if possible, risking at most the chance to be entertained by your co-workers’ antics. Slack helps, but there’s something about being there that it can’t replace. Though I will say it’s the most I’ve seen of some of my co-workers’ pets.

All this to say what I never thought I would say as an introvert: I miss people.

Most of the time, I’d rather keep to myself. That’s how a former landlord used to introduce me to prospective tenants, by the way: “This is Brenda and her cat Lucifer. She’s quiet and likes to keep to herself.” No serial-killer vibe in that at all.

My mom, who died a year ago Monday, was an extrovert and was often confused that she could have a daughter so unlike her in that respect (but hey, good luck shutting me up once I get to know you). She would have chafed far sooner than I did at the idea of social distancing. Still, by the time my first full week of telecommuting was up this past Friday, I was tired of it.

I still forget to eat, just as much if not more than I do when I’m in the office, even when a fully stocked refrigerator is so close, so that hasn’t changed. Other things, though …

Took me till about day four and a half.
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I actually miss other voices—those coming through the walls of my office, outside my door, or on the phone from a few loyal readers. The ones in my head don’t count … unless I’m counting, then they do it just to mess me up.

Sure, there are the occasional people walking around outside that I hear, along with a thumper (guy blasting his sound system as he drives by, and it’s never anything good), but it doesn’t amuse me or quicken my spirit. There’s less chance of men in white coats coming for me when I talk to (and answer) myself at home, but there’s also no other voice in the room to tell me when I’ve gone off the rails.

I’m too close to the street to re-enact this. But if I could do it to the thumper …
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I miss walking around the newsroom to wake up my brain and my muscles after hours of sitting and staring at a screen. I can walk around the house or outside, but I don’t feel like carrying my phone with me everywhere in case I’m needed; I usually leave it in my office when I’m at work because someone can just holler or grab my arm as I walk by. The house isn’t that big, anyway, and it feels even smaller when it’s raining outside (rain or pollen) and it’s the only option for stretching my stubby little legs.

This is why you should keep knives out of kitty’s reach. And learn to use an apostrophe.
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So when we can once again get back to the office (only after it’s deemed safe to do so by experts, not the president), I’ll be a lot happier than I would have thought, not just because I’ll get to see my friends again, but because it will feel like work, with page proofs on paper, snail mail, and all my plants (at least the ones that survive), photos and art around me. It’s just not the same when I’m not typing on my computer with the big monitor (my laptop monitor is half its size) and framed John Deering cartoons hung above it, or reading proofs clipped to my big drawing board that I can duck behind to mess with the minds of people who open the door thinking there’s no one in there.

I’m not only an introvert, then, but a bit of a Luddite too. Sure, I have no problem embracing technology (to a point), but I wouldn’t mind some days getting by with a lot less. Smartphone or iPad, sure, but I reserve the right to walk away without it. Smart home? I have Alexa on my Kindle, and have yet to use her. Siri I really only use to dictate letters and to occasionally have her recite Queen lyrics to amuse me. Cortana and I aren’t on speaking terms, and I’ve heard far too many horror stories about digital assistants spying on you and ordering weird stuff in the middle of the night. So nah, doing the whole smart-home thing is cutting a little too close to HAL territory. And I don’t even have a pod bay.

OK, it’s not this bad. Yet.
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At the moment, as much as I might miss people, I doubt they would miss me. Quite frankly, I need a shower. When you’re working at home and don’t have to take video calls, grooming tends to … well …

I kinda stink and have been wearing my kitty pajamas (yes, I have multiples) while working. My hair is pulled back in a ponytail, and my face is in need of some serious exfoliation. I would not be welcome at the office in my present state.

But I swear, once we get an all-clear to head back, I will be there, fresh, clean, and in clothes that don’t have cats on them (socks don’t count).

I might even talk to people without being prodded. You never know.

I’m working at home. This is what cats do, lady!
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In all seriousness, I’m self-isolating as many of you are for the health of the greater population, and will stay as long as needed. I only go out when necessary, and if that’s to the grocery store, I buy what I need and nothing more. I always have pantry staples like rice and potatoes, as well as canned and frozen food.

But we all need a break for the sake of our mental health. Get necessary news updates, then move on, at least for several hours. Watch some lighthearted movies that have nothing to do with contagion, like The Philadelphia Story or Bringing Up Baby (I’m a sucker for Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn). Waste some time perusing #QuarantineCats on Twitter, or assorted animals and buffoonery on icanhas.cheezburger.com. Curl up and read a good book. Get some gardening done. Do something nice for your neighbor.

And do something nice for your friendly neighborhood editor/columnist: Send cat pics, please and thank you. Goin’ a little stir-crazy here …

Well, c’mon, share!
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