I’m starting to think that if there’s anything at which Americans most truly excel, it’s at finding offense.

We take offense at things that don’t matter in the larger scheme of things, which is just a waste of time and energy.

We take offense (as we should) at insults based on a person’s gender, sexuality, disabilities and countless other things. Yet we have no problem hurling similar and worse insults at anyone who doesn’t believe as we do. Then we take offense that people are offended by this.

We’re offended by the mere existence of people who don’t believe or live as we do, claiming that by their insistence they be allowed to live as openly as anyone else that they’re throwing it in our faces. I mean, seriously, how dare they!

And now we have people all up in arms over the Paris Olympics opening ceremony. I didn’t watch it (cat-sitting, ya know), but I’ve already grown tired of the controversy over one short segment in the four-hour extravaganza, especially as it didn’t depict what people were saying it did.

Among the many reactions to the bridge segment that ended in a fashion show was this from Jenna Ellis, former 2020 campaign attorney to Donald Trump: “In this scene from the Olympic opening ceremony, the famous painting of ‘The Last Supper’ is recreated, but Jesus is replaced with an obese woman, while queer and trans figures (including a child!) depict her apostles.”

Except wait, that wasn’t “The Last Supper” being parodied by drag queens and others on the Olympic stage, but rather an homage to Greek mythology and the feast of the gods (that blue guy was a depiction of Dionysus, the god of wine and revelry, and the father of Sequana, goddess of the Seine; that was her, not Death, on the horse in the river) … you know, from the land where the Olympics originated.

Thomas Jolly, the artistic director for the ceremony, told reporters, according to NBC, “There is Dionysus who arrives on this table. He is there because he is the god of celebration in Greek mythology. The idea was to have a pagan celebration connected to the gods of Olympus. You will never find in me a desire to mock and denigrate anyone.”

So Jolly apparently wouldn’t do well in American politics. But hey, he can still offend, since he used the word “pagan” (correctly, at least as used by early Christians in the fourth century, as the Greeks were polytheistic).

Yes, one participant (Piche) was quoted in a French publication supposedly confirming an intent to parody “The Last Supper,” but for me, I’ll listen to the artistic director and the opinion of art historians who noted the striking similarity in the segment to various depictions of the Greek gods celebrating on Mount Olympus, a common theme in 16th and 17th century Western art (such as Jan Harmensz van Biljert’s “The Feast of Gods” in particular).

Olympics spokeswoman Anne Descamps told reporters, “Clearly there was never an intention to show disrespect to any religious group. If people have taken any offense we are, of course, really, really sorry.”

OK, I have to take offense now, since she invoked “If people have taken any offense,” which makes it a non-apology. Just say, “We’re sorry.” No need to qualify it.

Boy, once you get started taking offense, it’s awfully hard to stop.

So here’s my advice, for everybody: Breathe. Take a moment to really look at things as they truly are, without the influence of others who tell you that you should be offended. In a lot of cases, those people thrive on driving controversy, and if they ever apologize for their words or actions that might have caused people to be harassed or threatened or that caused disruption, that apology won’t get near the engagement/attention of the original ruckus.

By waiting to react, you can avoid the Emily Litella “Oh, well, that’s different. Never mind” when someone explains to you that people are objecting to violence on television, not violins. (I really miss Gilda Radner.)

And maybe more importantly, you can separate the opening ceremonies put on by the host country from the performances of the athletes, without whom there would be no Olympics. Don’t let a couple of minutes in an opening ceremony dampen enthusiasm for athletes like Simone Biles, Kate Douglass and Caeleb Dressel and many more. They had nothing to do with what happened during the opening ceremony except for their entrance, and they deserve our support.

Besides, it’s not the first time the ceremony has courted controversy. In 1988 in Seoul, some of the doves that were released perched on the cauldron and were then roasted when the flame was lit. Conservative member of Parliament Adrian Burley called London’s 2012 ceremony “The most leftie opening ceremony I have ever seen.” (It’s the last one I remember watching, and the Mr. Bean segment was inspired, goofy, and great fun.)

More controversies are doubtless ahead, so pace yourselves. You might actually run out of offense.

Then what are you going to do? Just live your life and let others live theirs?

🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Just a word here to thank all who’ve expressed condolences over the recent death of my sister-in-law Karen, who was, as several noted, more sister than in-law to me.

I also want to apologize, as I unintentionally deadnamed my niece. One of the things about having family that’s spread far apart is that you don’t always get certain news unless you specifically seek it out, so it wasn’t until after I’d written last week’s column that I learned Karen’s child is in transition. Had I been more diligent about checking my LinkedIn messages, I would have known months ago, as my niece had sent me a message there (she’s divorced now and in IT with a charter school in yet another state, but doesn’t do much social media; I just now have her phone number, and she has mine so she can always reach out to her ally auntie, and I to her). She’s understanding, thankfully, and didn’t even mention it.

Would that more people were so understanding.