Everyone talks a lot about their rights and what they’re entitled to; too few talk about the responsibilities those rights entail, and any limits on them.

So since I need to bleed off some snark every once in a while to keep from being interminable (believe me, it happens), here are my thoughts.

💬 You have a right to say or write whatever you want. However, you must take responsibility for your words. And while the government can’t restrict your speech for the most part (though public safety is one reason it might be restricted, i.e., yelling “fire” in a crowded theater), others can, including businesses (they can refuse to serve you or allow you access to their platforms, stores, refuse to publish you, etc.) and public and private individuals.

If what you’ve said is provably false, you may be sued for defamation; if it’s against a public figure, their burden of proof is higher, but not unreachable. If you’ve violated the terms of service of a social media platform, you can be banned from using it, even if the platform is owned by a public company. Public in this instance means only that the company’s shares are traded freely in the stock market, not that it’s an extension of government and therefore can’t refuse service. (Private companies are generally held by a small group of people, and shares are not traded on the market.)

If you only knew how many times I’ve seen the “but it’s a public company” whine. Words matter, but so does context.

If you’ve behaved uncivilly on a comment board, you don’t have a right to demand someone respond to you or that your comments remain in the site (do what you want on your own blog/whatever, as long as it doesn’t violate the TOS of whatever service provider hosts it, but you have to play by the rules elsewhere, just like everyone else). I know my mama would have smacked me upside the head if I’d said even a tiny fraction of the things uttered on most comment boards, which are often wildly untrue, ill-mannered and crude. I’d say the non-response to someone who posts those kinds of comments speaks volumes.

😡 You have the right to be offended; you don’t have the right to not be offended. What do I mean by that? Just that if something offends you, you don’t have the right to remove it from public view if it’s not your personal property.

You’re not royalty or a dictator (most likely; King Charles the cat is an obvious exception) who can declare something off-limits or rewrite history à la Joseph Stalin because it displeases you. By all means, register your complaint, but don’t expect the experts who determine suitability to just roll over, especially if you accuse them of being pedophiles and groomers. You might want to duck, because that dictionary they’re lobbing at you is pretty darn heavy. Librarians and teachers, among others, take their jobs very seriously, and the only thing they could in most cases be accused of attempting to indoctrinate into children is a love of learning.

As one of my old Radio/TV instructors once told a woman who was complaining about a program being aired on the TV station he was working at, you have a choice. You can change the channel or turn it off. You don’t get to dictate what everyone else gets to see. You’re not everybody’s mama.

👩‍🍳 You, as a customer, have a right to be served whatever you’re paying for. However, that doesn’t entitle you to harass or belittle those who serve you; that’s not part of the purchase price unless you frequent establishments that specialize in that sort of thing.

And you might not want to noise that about. People might get ideas.

Two of my brothers worked in the restaurant business for decades, and could tell you stories about bad customers that would curl your ears. A big part of the business is customer service (after the food, of course), but often customers decide that they deserve special privileges they haven’t earned. The customer isn’t always right, despite the axiom, especially if the customer is asking for something the business doesn’t provide, or is abusive. If you’re refused service, there might be a very good reason for it. And did you ever think that maybe you’re part of the reason a company keeps losing good employees? There’s only so much abuse one can take before deciding the job’s not worth losing their sanity and self-respect. Yes, there is indeed bad customer service out there, but there are also bad customers. The presence of bad customer service doesn’t mean there are only good customers.

🔫 You have a right to own a gun, but you must exercise responsibility.

Responsibility isn’t: 1. Open-carrying assault-style rifles, especially if you’re carrying them wrong (point them down, not up, to the sides or ahead or behind you; hunter 101: never point a gun unless you plan to shoot) or your intention is simply to intimidate others/be a world-class jerk to assert your Second Amendment rights (sounds like fear/insecurity/overcompensation to me).

2. Shooting willy-nilly for no good reason (New Year’s is not a good reason), especially if you live in an area with a higher population density; if you shoot into the air, that bullet/shell has to come down somewhere, and it might be in a person.

3. Not keeping your gun locked up and unloaded when not in active use. If you have a lot of guns, you should have a gun safe and keep it locked (need I remind you my childhood friend Lori was killed when another child was showing her his dad’s new gun; had it been locked up, she might have seen her 11th birthday). “But if I have to unlock it and load the gun, a burglar may kill me!” Yeah, maybe, or the burglar may grab your gun from you and kill you with it. You can keep a pistol in a locking case in the nightstand and easily retrieve it, so that’s no excuse to leave it lying around where anyone could grab it and use it (including your kids).

4. Not knowing what the Second Amendment really means, and that it’s not unlimited (it’s the only amendment that so-called originalists refuse to be originalists on). Please go read what the late Justice Antonin Scalia wrote and said about the Second Amendment and understand that the government can legally put limits on the number and type of guns you own.

5. Worshipping guns. Seriously? Can I blame Charlton Heston and his “from my cold, dead hands” spiel? If an object meant to kill is that precious to you, perhaps some introspection is in order.

👹 You have a right to be a jerk. You don’t have the right to evade consequences for your behavior. A lot of us are experiencing a bit of schadenfreude right now because of certain events, and comeuppance is finally rearing its head. If you break the law, you should expect punishment (it would help if some laws were enforced and/or hadn’t been rendered useless by lawmakers with agendas). It’s the same in daily life; if you disrespect the rules set out for everyone, don’t be surprised if someone challenges you or you’re tossed.

Just be a decent human. Be kind. Live and let live. Is that really too much to ask?

Yes, I already know the answer to that.

The Word Nerd has to get in a little something as well. She does that. Kind of annoying, isn’t it?

You’re entitled to use “entitled” if you use it correctly. If you’ve paid into something, you’re entitled to a piece of it, whether that’s Social Security, a business or a pizza (chicken bacon ranch from Larry’s or Gracie’s at U.S. Pizza for me, please; neither uses tomato sauce, so they’re relatively safe for me). You get to enjoy the privileges that come with having paid for it, but only what’s on the menu. You might also see people who believe they have a privilege they don’t really have, and call them entitled, as they behave with an air of entitlement.

But if you use “entitled” when talking about a book, an article, a song, a movie or whatever, you have a right to be smacked upside the head by the Word Nerd. She’s pretty chill most of the time, but this one raises her hackles, even more than people who don’t spell-check or fact-check and use commas willy-nilly. (What are the odds? Two willy-nillies in one column!) The correct word in this instance is “titled,” which just means it’s been given a title. Correct: His latest book is titled “How to Annoy an Editor in 10 Easy Steps.” Incorrect: Her new album is entitled “What Are You Gonna Do About It, Editor?”

Yes, I disagree with Merriam-Webster on this, but again, a dictionary records what words mean according to their use, and it says it’s fine. However, The Associated Press Stylebook (which publications like the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette use) tells us: “Use ‘entitled’ to mean a right to do or have something. Do not use it to mean ‘titled.'”

Then again, “Men Behaving Badly” (either the British original or the short-lived American version of the sitcom) could be an example of both titled and entitled.

Oof. I have a headache. Vitamin C(harlie), stat!