OK, I know it’s been really hot out there and (hopefully) cooler in your homes, but I’m concerned about some of y’all. Maybe a welfare check is in order. At the very least, a peek outside.

I’m talking about those who spend the bulk of their day online and who have found themselves so bereft of entertainment since nobody wants to engage with them that they’re not only making up fantastical tales about the people with whom they don’t agree (per usual; it doesn’t matter what they say because it can always be re-imagined by the cranks), but are now creepily tracking the online activity of those people because they won’t play with them.

There’s at least one person on the newspaper website right now screaming “Hypocrite!” at his computer, and probably going back yet again to see if I’ve liked a comment by someone he disagrees with, disregarding whether it was because the comment had merit (if I upvote a comment, it does; if I downvote one, it’s because it makes little sense, lacks civility and/or doesn’t address the issue). Then again, context is evil. I mean, it can tell you what was actually meant, and that’s just no fun.

Sigh.

There are times we all need to take a step back from the computer and maybe go outside (if it’s really hot and not cooled by the effects of a tropical storm, you might want to find some shade and a neck fan and/or a cooling towel, which can be surprisingly helpful). It might have to wait until later in the day when if you’re lucky it’s a bit milder with maybe a light breeze, and if you’re really lucky the fireflies/lightning bugs will be out.

Sit for a bit in that dusky twilight and breathe. Remember when you were a kid who’d capture those little insects and marvel at their fluorescence (and whether you called them fireflies or lightning bugs; us rural kids tended toward lightnin’ bugs). You can cringe at the thought of having to peel June bugs off your legs and clothes, but who wouldn’t smile when they see a lightnin’ bug?

That’d probably be the guys (they’re nearly always guys) who can’t stand when anyone tries to have an actual conversation on the Internet. I mean, where are the insults, the hyperbolic pronouncements of doom, the outright lies, the word salad and/or wall of text having nothing to do with anything? Gee, it’s like people who don’t do these things don’t know how to Internet (which in their world means making everyone else miserable for a a few yucks so they can ignore how miserable they still feel).

But sure, they’re right. I mean, those of us who use the Internet for work, research (even when we’re not working, because we’re big nerds) and streaming of music, movies and TV shows clearly don’t understand that the only way to properly use it is to abuse it. How dare we!

No wonder so many people on X/Twitter are not enraptured with Threads, where the users tend to put a premium on civility, to the point that they’ll block those who reek of incivility and abusive language and behavior. One of the biggest reasons I love Threads is because it feels like a small-town community where people respect each other and follow the Golden Rule. Sure, there are grumpy people there too, just like any small town, but they know better than to act like total asses if they want to play with others at all.

Growing up, we usually knew what houses to avoid because those living there were mean and cruel, or at least that’s what we were told. Some, we’d learn later, were mostly lonely and just needed someone to pierce their negativity a bit and bring them out of their shells. Others really were just mean (cue Taylor Swift singing, “Why ya gotta be so mean?”).

Online, especially on comment boards and social media platforms, you can usually tell who to avoid as well (the porn bots are really obvious), but there are those of us who live in the hope that those people aren’t a total loss and are still capable of honest and civil dialogue. Some days it’s a very tiny hope, but it’s there.

You choose whether to engage with these bitter curmudgeons, in real life and online. Sometimes you may be lucky and find a heart of gold behind that unpalatable exterior, but in my experience, that’s mostly in the real world. Online, those people have created a persona they like (and that people like them like, because they’re miserable too), and aren’t comfortable letting down the walls, which is one reason so many of them don’t use their real names (it wouldn’t do for people, especially employers or other people with power over them, in their real lives to discover what they do in their free time). While there are reasonable people behind some anonymous personas with good reason for remaining anonymous (having been doxxed before or otherwise threatened, for example), there are far too many who take the freedom of anonymity too far and use it to escape responsibility for their words and actions.

Washington Post columnist and blogger Megan McArdle has had her own battles with people like this, writing in July 2022, “After two decades of death threats, slander and profanity-laced suggestions that I engage in improbable sexual acts, I’ve learned there is only one effective way to respond to any of it: don’t. It’s a rigged game, and the only way to win is to ignore the invitation to participate.

“Unfortunately, we’re now discouraged from telling people to do the only thing that works. Saying “ignore it” supposedly downplays the serious harm these attacks can do, especially to marginalized groups. It normalizes abuse. Instead, we’re all supposed to expose the harm, call out the attackers and press online platforms for better moderating tools.

“This is well-meant, but far too optimistic. No technology filter will ever keep people from saying horrible things on the internet; at best, it can filter out a few of the ugliest words. Nor does it help to point out that trolling is mean.

“Trolls are not misguided people who accidentally hurt your feelings. They are rage-filled narcissists who want two things: your attention and your pain. Any response you can think of just gives them what they want.

“When you argue, they rejoice that you care about their opinion. When you complain that it hurts, they revel in your agony. When others leap in to explain how traumatizing this all is, they’re even more satisfied — now they have everyone’s attention!” The only way to punish trolls is to refuse to acknowledge that they exist. Better yet, don’t care.”

While I and others have at times suggested calling out the bullies, I have to agree with McArdle. Ignore them, as hard as it is to do sometimes. Comment on or like other posts if you wish, but ignore the cranks; they have no say over what you do. It seems to have gotten under the skin of at least one old man yelling at clouds, so keep it up.

Maybe he’ll head outside for a bit to yell at actual clouds.