This past week has been really hard for a lot of us. No, not because Donald Trump won, but because so many people we know, love and trust could look past everything they know about him and still vote for him.

I posted this on my Facebook profile last Wednesday afternoon, and it pretty much sums it up:

“Today’s tough. It’s meant realizing that for too many people, ethics and facts don’t matter as long as you have the ‘right’ beliefs (or convince enough people you hold them). It’s meant the final confirmation that fear, not of something terrible happening to someone you love, but of people with different beliefs, has overtaken us.

“I fear, but it’s for LGBTQ+ friends and family members. It’s for my fellow women. It’s for people of color. It’s for everyone who has had to deal with abuse because of their gender, race, sexual orientation, religion or because they hold the ‘wrong’ beliefs. It’s for those public servants who do their jobs without regard to party and for that are awarded with harassment and threats.

“Maya Angelou told us to believe when people tell us who they are. We believe you, and we’ll pray for you. Just don’t expect us to want to be around you.

“Whether religious or not, we still believe in the Golden Rule. We expect people to take responsibility for their words and actions. We know that issues are not as black and white as some have led you to believe (and seriously, stop with the trope of ‘abortions until birth’ … it’s not a thing). We believe in facts, responsible journalism, and keeping your word. We believe that accountability is paramount (and if you break the law, regardless of who you are, there should be consequences).

“We also have to believe we can get past this with grace and fortitude, and hope that cooler heads will prevail next time.”

I was prompted to post that after too many people I love and respected posted statements praising God for his “intervention” in the election (God didn’t vote; people did, and they must accept responsibility for the way they voted), and/or posted hateful memes about “the other side” they wouldn’t have dreamed of posting even 15 years ago. One of the people who prompted that then posted something akin to “It’s just politics. We can agree to disagree.”

Except it really isn’t just politics. While so many of us still hold to the belief that morals and truth matter and we should treat others as we wish to be treated, others have been emboldened to show their worst selves.

The Guardian reported: “Just hours after Donald Trump’s election win on Tuesday, Black people across the U.S. reported receiving racist text messages telling them that they had been ‘selected’ to pick cotton and needed to report to ‘the nearest plantation.’ While the texts, some of which were signed ‘a Trump supporter,’ varied in detail, they all conveyed the same essential message about being selected to pick cotton. Some of the messages refer to the recipients by name.”

The FBI and various state attorneys general are reportedly investigating the messages, some of which went to middle and high school students, students at Historically Black Colleges and Universities, and others.

Derrick Johnson, president and CEO of the NAACP, condemned the messages in a statement: “The unfortunate reality of electing a president who historically has embraced, and at times encouraged hate, is unfolding before our eyes. These messages represent an alarming increase in vile and abhorrent rhetoric from racist groups across the country, who now feel emboldened to spread hate and stoke the flames of fear that many of us are feeling after Tuesday’s election results.

“We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – there is no place for hate in a democracy. The threat – and the mention of slavery in 2024 – is not only deeply disturbing, but perpetuates a legacy of evil that dates back to before the Jim Crow era, and now seeks to prevent Black Americans from enjoying the same freedom to pursue life, liberty, and happiness.”

Women are being harassed after the election as well, with Nick Fuentes emblematic of the abuse, posting on X/Twitter on election night, “Your body, my choice. Forever.” Friends on Threads and elsewhere have been threatened with rape and worse, leading some to abandon or take a breather from social media, after reporting the threats to the proper authorities.

But some will say, hey, we’re not the ones doing these things. However, I’ll point out that they have shown with their vote that they’re OK with it as long as it’s directed toward people who don’t believe as they do. Emma Clarke of The Independent wrote: “Let’s be clear: if you choose to follow in the footsteps of men like ‘The Donald,” then you know exactly what you’re doing. For any previous room for interpretation when it comes to Trump’s views on women and his motives has been eliminated since his first term in the White House.

“From his Supreme Court selections to overturning Roe v Wade and stripping women and girls of their fundamental rights – his position on women, our bodies and what he views as our purpose in life is now abundantly clear to all. He isn’t hiding it. He isn’t apologetic. And it’s only going to get worse.”

It should thus come as little surprise that many women are now seriously considering arming themselves for protection.

It’s not politics, and it never really was. It’s a different way of looking at things that affect all of us, and choosing to take the path that allows for hate to have free rein. Let’s be honest: The GOP is dead, having been supplanted by the MAGA Party. There are still actual Republicans out there, but they’re no longer welcome in their own party. The Democrats and Republicans both fell victim to their fringes, which isn’t good for anyone.

Some will say their vote had to do with the economy, despite the president historically having little impact on the economy and the analysis of Trump’s policies by countless economists pointing to harmful effects (such as those by tariffs, which will be paid by Americans, not the countries importing to us). Others will point to social issues such as abortion and LGBTQ+ rights while trumpeting misinformation that has nothing to do with real life.

Still, I have to have hope that our better angels will prevail. We’re all in this together. And now there are large portions of Americans who feel unsafe and uncertain of the future of their rights, and that should matter to everyone because any group losing hard-won rights won’t be the only one.

For those of us who grew up learning about the Bible and the Golden Rule in the church, it’s especially hard. We were taught to love others as ourselves, and we do our best to live that lesson. It will take a lot for us to get back to trusting people who voted against the interests of those just trying to survive in a world stacked against them.

It can be done, but grace must be present on all sides. Votes (and the lack of them) affect everyone. People elected to public office are supposed to represent everyone, not just those who voted for them (I’m starting to think nations with compulsory voting laws have the right idea since a lot of people sat this election out).

Acting as if an election victory gives one carte blanche to harass others or to demand fealty to a cause shouldn’t come into play, ever (there is such a thing as a sore winner, and lord, are we seeing that now). Stop looking at everyone who doesn’t hold your beliefs as the enemy. Name-calling on either side helps nothing, but it’s very hard to find sympathy for those who’ve done nothing but name-call their opponents and then are upset that they’re being name-called. Just don’t do it. It’s not that hard.

We’ll get through this, but it will take a lot of work. It shouldn’t be surprising to certain voters that some will look more warily at them from now on, and perhaps cut ties with them. If the relationship is worth salvaging, it will be, but not without time, patience and effort.

At least try to make the effort to understand the fears of your fellow Americans. They didn’t come from nowhere.