To be fair, I already was.
Image found on funnyjunk.

For those who are dealing with Christmas dinner hangover, I’m with you. But boy, that pork loin was good.

As we get ever-nearer to the end of the year, dictionaries and other associations of word nerds have come out with their favorite words (or at least those words and phrases most inquired about in the past year).

Last week, Merriam-Webster released its word of the year, “justice.” In a blog post, the dictionary said, “The concept of justice was at the center of many of our national debates in the past year: racial justice, social justice, criminal justice, economic justice.”

Let’s hope justice remains blind. Someone doesn’t want that.
Image found on Medium.

There’s also that “obstruction of justice” thing that’s been in the news. It’s kind of a big deal. “The term ‘obstruction of justice,'” the blog said, “spiked on August 1, the day that President Trump tweeted his wish for Attorney General Jeff Sessions to stop the Mueller investigation.”

Because that’s totally something the president should tweet.

As Merriam-Webster said, “For many reasons and for many meanings, one thing’s for sure: Justice has been on the minds of many people in 2018.”

But let’s be done with favorite/popular words. Soon Lake Superior State University in Michigan will release its latest list of words and phrases it recommends be banished. The last list included “fake news,” “covfefe,” and “nothingburger.” None have disappeared quite yet, but I’m still hoping.

As I’m sure Earl Babbie of Hot Springs Village is as well. Earl, the Campbell professor emeritus in behavioral sciences from Chapman University and textbook author (full disclosure: he wrote the textbook in my introduction to sociology class in college … he’s also one of my favorite people; we Capricorns stick together), nominates “malignant narcissism” to hit the road. I can’t imagine to what he could possibly be referring.

It’s just not fair to look into things he’s reportedly done!
Editorial cartoon by Jeff Darcy, The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer.

Gosh, it’s not like there’s a malignant narcissist sitting in the Oval Office right now … ummm …

Malignant narcissists are often seen by others as thin-skinned, petty, jealous, angry and shallow, among other things. According to Rhonda Freeman in Psychology Today, “Their behavior and mood are often dependent and driven by feedback from their environment; they typically need the message from others to be a positive one. The impression they wish to make and the intense guarding of their fragile self-esteem is a strong determinant of their actions and thoughts. Some narcissists can become stricken with anger, anxiety, depression, shame, and so forth if the information they receive does not match their inflated, protected inner self.”

Gosh, that sounds awfully familiar. Yeah, let’s get rid of that, please. Lord knows we don’t need anybody like that in a position of power.

Foghorn, a commenter on the Democrat-Gazette website, “would like to see the word ‘closure’ stricken. It means absolutely nothing. It implies that tragic or traumatic events have some kind of expiration date, which they do not. Hate that word.” Foghorn is not wrong, either in the odiousness of the word or in the fact that there is no expiration date to grief. Ask anyone who’s had to say goodbye to someone beloved.

I never understood why anyone would need to jump over a candlestick … seems pointless.
Image found on The Virtual Vine.

Mary Anne Garnett is not particularly fond of either “nimble” (which she says she sees used mainly in business stories) or “agile,” which lately has been used in reference to teaching methods. “Having endured countless teaching trends before my retirement from UALR,” she writes, “I am grateful not to have to be be ‘agile’ now that I am at an age when it is a compliment to be considered ‘spry’.”

I hope there is no particular need for editors to be nimble or agile. I’m frankly too tired for that. And I’ve never gotten back full range of motion in my right arm, so …

W.K. Holloway hits upon one of my pet peeves with the word that he’d like to dump: “incentivize.”

“It first came to my attention a few years back when a respected political operative was explaining the insurance purchasing mandate included in the Affordable Care Act, a.k.a. Obamacare,” he writes. “He insisted that the IRS penalty for not obtaining health insurance was designed to ‘incentivize’ younger citizens to be insured. This attempt to turn the noun ‘incentive’ into a verb sounds much more palatable than the verbs ‘coerce,’ ‘force,’ ‘require’ or ‘demand.’ … ‘Incentivize’ and its derivations are now used in the discussion of sanctions imposed on foreign governments, the tax breaks offered to companies, the promises made to voters and a host of other new applications.”

Sure, “verbing” is a legitimate thing in informal English, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.
Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson.

The practice of “verbing” nouns is one that irritates me. C’mon, you don’t “author” something, you “write” it. And “impact” should only be used as a verb if it is in reference to hitting something. Usually when you use a verb as a noun it sounds jargony, and that’s not something to which you should aspire. Sometimes it doesn’t sound like jargon, but those times it’s usually very tongue-in-cheek, like “adulting.” I can abide that in moderation, but jargon? Never!

If you could just stop bugging the crap out of me, I wouldn’t feel the need to hurt you right now.
Image found on Social Talent.

Other readers have quibbles with phrases that have become a bit too ubiquitous. Ed Tabler says he’s irritated by the use of “try and do something” instead of “try to do something,” especially when it’s used by people who are supposed to be news professionals. Charlotte Fuller says two phrases used frequently in customer service—“it’s my pleasure” and “no problem”—grate on her last nerve.

I’m not too bothered by those, but “just a minute, ma’am” chafes me. Don’t call me ma’am just yet; give me another 20 years or so.

One more reader offered a phrase I wholeheartedly agree with banning. Bert Harper writes: “I am sure I am not the only one who wants to ban this, but I cannot stand it when someone starts a sentence with ‘the truth of the matter is.’ If you have to state it is the truth, then I already suspect it isn’t, it’s just your opinion. Which doesn’t make it the truth.”

The truth of that statement is ironclad.

And if we can just get rid of that, and “witch hunt,” “your favorite president,” “stan,” “yass,” etc., I’ll breathe a little easier in 2019. Or at least won’t roll my eyes quite as much. It really dries them out.

Great. Someone gave the Tangerine Toddler his phone back.
GIF found on giphy.