Not sure how someone got this GIF of me …
GIF found on Tenor.
OK, I’m tired and still recovering from a bout of suspected food poisoning over the weekend, so no regular post for me today. Yeah, I’m being kinda lazy. For readers of the print edition of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, it means you’ll see instead a column from my buddy Earl, who happens to be the author of the textbook from my Intro to Sociology course in college. You can read more of his research/writing here.
The note in the paper telling people why I don’t have a column today says, “Brenda Looper has been in full get-off-my-lawn mode since some jerk stole her good shovel, so she’s taking the day to calm down. Her column, but probably not her shovel, will return next week.”
So … uh … a shovel … uhhhh …
GIF found on giphy.
You may think I’m making it up, but I’m not. Apparently my rakes and shovels are the items to steal around here. At least the asshat didn’t steal the edger. Yet.
I bought a shed to store the tools, but it has to be assembled. I was sorely disappointed that the thief didn’t come by and put it together to make up for stealing the shovel. Dang it.
Soooo … today I just bring you a few things that have cracked me up in between frenzied trips to the powder room. Let me just say that laughter isn’t necessarily the best medicine when you have stomach troubles.
Right, I know, this isn’t that lazy. But I feel guilty.
Ba-dum-bum! Still better than the camel yelling about hump day.
Image found on Bored Panda.
I wish I’d known that when I was freezing last winter.
Screenshot from @SprintingYogini’s Twitter page.
Furry watermelons like ice cream? Ya learn something every day.
Image found on Reddit.
Recorders. The horror!!!! (If you’ve got some time to kill check out the Bude Tunnel reviews on TripAdvisor. They’re hilarious.)
Screenshot from Owen Williams’ Twitter page.
Then will come the alpacalypse. No one will be spared.
Image found on ReachOut Forums.
And just ’cause. Randy Rainbow cracks me up.
Serenity is a fuzzy belly 
“The Steele dossier is fake. The ‘golden shower’ episode is a lie, and President Putin assures me all three girls will testify it never happened. Or was it four? I forget. #peetape #yellowrain”
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He really is grasping, isn’t he? Meanwhile, the rest of us don’t want to touch him. Cheeto dust and pee are an awful combination. 🤢
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Would you believe that one of my neighbors stole one of my garbage cans a few years ago? I thought that was a really trashy thing to do.
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There are an awful lot of trifling people out there. Garbage people.
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Heaters? In a political party? I have always heard that politicians are supposed to be full of hot air.
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I always wondered why the capitol rotunda never just floated away.
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Recorders? Soprano or tape?
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Guessing soprano. My brothers had those from school, but the school stopped giving them out by the time I got there. I still annoyed people tooting their recorders. 😂
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At least they aren’t mobsters or mafia members.
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Is that what the capo told you to say? 😉
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Yes like the GodFather, I try to take care of my friends but I don’t make them kiss a certain ring because I don’t wear a ring. Also, they don’t have to call me “Don Lorenzo”.
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Good. I just can’t see myself calling you that. 😉
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I’ll leave a comment here altho as always, I do fear you only listen to Laurence, and that other poser Earl. But I thank you for this; it’s so dandy for I always forget that Randy is so splendid with a (shade-full) tune.
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Aw, Pooky … Speak up once in a while and I promise i’ll play nice. 😂
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And Randy is remarkable. I love and hate my friend Jim for pointing me toward him. I can waste hours …
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If people are actually paying attention to what I say (or type), then I am in trouble–Serious Trouble (he said jokingly). It worries me when I learn that people are actually listening to and reading what I am saying because most of the time, I don’t know what I am talking about anyway. Unfortunately, I guess that qualifies me for a career in politics. It is like I tell people on Facebook: “Don’t follow me because I am lost also.”
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Ha! 😂
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Since I am just a simple musician (and a bass player at that), this means that being a poser is way above my pay grade. I am not qualified to be a poser. Of course, since I am a bass player, this means that almost any other job is above me.
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I beg to differ. Cleaner at a zoo would be pretty bad. 😉🐘🦏🐗
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A lurking fan here of Brenda’s column and of the banter between you three. Lord knows why I chose poser as the two-syllable filler word. ‘Other clever gent’ would have broken the rhythm I was aiming for. 😅
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Rhythm is a dancer … 😉 💃🏻
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Dancer is a reindeer. 💃😎
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Indeed! 🦌
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Clever Gent? I do try to behave like a gentleman as much as I can. However, bass players are not supposed to be clever. Supposedly that is reserved for the person or person who are singing the melody and/or playing the fancy, elaborate, scorching guitar solos. The bass player is supposed to stand there quietly in the back next to the drummer and be as unnoticed as possible while the center of attention is usually the singer and/or the guitar player.
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Brenda do you feel better? Have you recovered from the food poisoning?
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I’m OK, just really tired.
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