Maya Angelou often told us that when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time. (Notice that’s “shows,” not “tells.” Actions indeed speak louder than words.)

I’ve been thinking an awful lot about that lately, and it’s little wonder, considering the reactions we’ve seen to news coming out of Minnesota and elsewhere.

When the first thought when someone is killed is that they had it coming to them, we’ve lost sight of our humanity, and that should worry us.

When it’s easier to lie than admit the truth and the evidence of our own eyes and ears, that’s an indication of morals in decline.

When cruelty is the point, we’ve lost the plot.

There have been a lot of horrible things that have happened over the centuries, but basic humanity has tended to win out. Through war, famine, and economic despair, people have come together to survive and thrive. Bad things always linger, but usually at the margins, where they’re somewhat easily managed.

The margins, though, seem to be closing in. It’s hard not to feel helpless and hopeless when so much cruelty, avarice, lies and hatred are about.

Growing up, I was taught the importance of empathy and compassion. I actually paid attention to the red words in the Bible, and what Jesus taught about how we should live our lives. The Beatitudes were what we aspired to, because we truly believed that treating others as we wished to be treated was the way forward.

I still believe it is; I have to hope I’m not alone. We have to act to turn around what has been happening to our country that belies the founders’ ideals. First, though, we have to get past the feelings of helplessness.

The Global Compassion Coalition says that the first step to overcoming helplessness is to practice acceptance instead of resistance, which is a hard pill to take at the moment. However, the coalition writes, “Acceptance is about meeting life where it is and moving forward from there. It allows us to see the situation as it is, in the present moment, which gives us the space to see the road ahead. When we resist, we’re paralyzed by uncertainty and fear. Acceptance allows reality to be as it is, while also giving us room to think about what actions we can take to better the future.”

Another way to see that is to think of it as focusing on what you can control. Once you’re focused, you can move forward, and any step forward, no matter how small, is progress.

Lord knows we need to be able to see the path ahead right now if we want to get out of this morass. We can’t fix everything at once, but if we start with small things, that can build into progress on the bigger things.

We also need to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others; rest, recharge and re-commit to what needs to be done because if we run ourselves ragged, we can’t help anyone. Caregivers know this more than most. Even if it’s just a quick walk around the block to clear your head, it’s important. My mom was sole caregiver to my grandma and tired herself out so much that she ended up in the hospital. It turned out to be lucky because she found out she had cancer while she was there. She had neglected her own health, but that convinced her it was time to find some other way to take care of Nanny and herself, and Mama lived another seven years or so, which was past the usual survival rate for her type of cancer.

The coalition also recommends mindfulness, or being present, as “The more aware we are from moment to moment, the more choice we have regarding how we react to our experiences.” Mindfulness helps us focus, increases positive emotions, and helps with memory, learning, emotional regulation and empathy, thus helping us make better decisions.

Regulating our nervous systems helps too, says the coalition, by stimulation of the vagus nerve, allowing us to better manage stress and anxiety. Ways to do that include cold showers (maybe not so much right now; it’s 41 degrees as I type this, so it’s warming, but another polar blast has been forecast), taking a nature walk, laughing, taking deep breaths, listening to something relaxing, or humming to yourself. I can also highly recommend cuddling with a furry critter; cats’ purrs are especially soothing.

And yes, that will annoy those among us who apparently think those of us who love animals really love animals in a bestial way, so bonus. It’s not our fault these people can’t stand to see anyone not as miserable as they are; we know that our fur family is worthy of love.

The coalition also says, “When you want to take action, but feel like there’s nothing you can do, practice active compassion.” It’s known as Tonglen in Tibetan, which means “giving and receiving.”

“This meditation practice,” the coalition writes, “involves mentally taking away the suffering of others while offering them our feelings of compassion and well-being. This form of compassion helps prime us to act out our compassionate concern for others. According to the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron, ‘It is a method for overcoming our fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our hearts.’ Tonglen helps to awaken the compassion that is ‘inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem to be.’”

Seriously, it can’t hurt to try.

There is so much in the world right now that seems hopeless, but we can’t let it overpower all that is good. People are still willing to help each other, with no ulterior motive. They’re still willing to stand up for those who are marginalized and mistreated. They don’t need to be paid to care about their fellow humans because they haven’t lost touch with their humanity. They care and fight for others because it’s the right thing, the moral thing to do, especially in the face of those for whom the rule of law is contingent on ideology.

I have to hope that more people are awakening to the knowledge that what is happening shouldn’t happen in a just and moral society. There has to be space for empathy and compassion alongside justice. Helping someone in trouble isn’t illegal and shouldn’t mean a death sentence. Just existing shouldn’t mean a death sentence.

We’ve lost our way, but I believe there is still time to find a way out.

What’s happening in Minnesota and elsewhere won’t end if we don’t stand up for ourselves and others (and that includes recording what’s going on to stand against the administration’s lies), with clear minds and purpose to restore the rule of law and the ideals of our nation.

May compassion and right guide us, and may we find our way to a less cruel reality.