The simple fact is that I was not built for heat. Besides being old and fat, IBS can make things … complicated (to say the least; sharts are a very real danger) in summer. Add to that my general persnicketiness when the summer’s heat bears down, and you have the makings of the ultimate curmudgeon.

And you kids, get off my lawn. Except I’m pretty sure the bulk of the illegal fireworks still being set off well into the wee hours of the morning lately have been the work of adults who just didn’t care that others have to work in the morning. Thank them and the near-constant Earth-shattering kabooms (did they switch from bottle rockets and firecrackers to M80s???) for my crankiness at the moment.

That’s one of the things that gets my goat (I call him Claude) on a regular rotation: People who don’t consider other people, who think that only their wants and needs matter. You see them in those who take up two to four parking spaces in a busy parking lot (and you can bet that in a paid parking lot they’re only paying for one space; at least pay for all you occupy so that private business won’t be out for the extra spaces) when everyone else uses just one for their vehicles. They’re also the ones who leave their shopping carts just wherever, blow through stop signs and lights because they feel entitled, belittle those who must get by using SNAP and other programs (we all need help sometimes, especially in this economy; heck, I’ve had to beg on Facebook, Threads and GoFundMe more than a few times), and embody so many other things the red words in the Bible warned us against, which, considering so many of them call themselves Christian, should worry us all.

What so many seem to forget is that we all live in the same world, and rules are supposed to be applied equally (though they’re surely not, especially if you have influence and/or money). So, yeah, it’s understandable that some are upset about Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s lavish wedding at Madison Square Garden coinciding with a heat wave that required power shutoffs in some poorer areas in New York City (the couple made $26 million in donations beforehand, but the optics are still problematic at best; I have to admit that one suggestion I saw, that of paying those customers’ power bills for July, is not a bad idea).

It’s also understandable that more than a few of us are concerned about the authoritarian direction our country is heading in, especially while those in charge are warning about communism (and not understanding or caring that communism [authoritarian, state control of just about everything] and socialism [less authoritarian, but government controls a lot], and especially democratic socialism [a mix of free-market and social-good concepts and equality of opportunity], are not interchangeable concepts; there’s a fairly easy-to-understand piece on the differences here, and believe me, proponents talking about democratic socialism here mean the European model such as in Sweden and Norway, not Cuba, which is communist).

But what’s more disturbing is that we can no longer debate matters without playing dirty. Civility has gone the way of the original Whatchamacallit (it didn’t have caramel and become too sweet until 1987) and taco-flavor Doritos (oh, those were the days before they added sour cream, which changed the taste), and if you call out the uncivil (especially trolls on comment boards who spend their ample time not on constructive criticism or hobbies other than being horrible to their fellow humans but on disrupting any attempt at civil conversation), you’re the bad guy. And no, paying for a product or service does not entitle anyone to harass those providing it unless explicitly stated; they’re just trying to earn a living and take care of their families (if I hear one more “but I’m a paying customer” from a troll, I swear …).

During the pandemic and continuing even today, we’ve had people harassing and sometimes assaulting mask-wearers (some mask-wearers returned the favor, but not as many from reports I’ve seen), not caring that there are valid health reasons for wearing a mask, such as compromised immunity or being a caregiver or simply not wanting to spread germs to others (I still wear a mask when I go out if I have a cold or something else that could be contagious if airborne; no one needs my germs).

We also have lawmakers and others working to legislate morality (always a bad idea) and/or “solve” problems that don’t really exist in a way that affects the majority of people (bathroom bills are one of the worst examples, and don’t do anything but create division while ignoring the real danger that won’t be affected by the laws; the common denominator tends to be violent cishet men). Trans women just want to use the bathroom, and if you’re a woman, you’ve probably peed next to one without knowing it. Sending them to the men’s room, especially when they’re post-surgery, is asking for them to be assaulted. Do trans men get a miss since you don’t seem concerned about them in the ladies’ room, no matter how hairy they are? And what about fathers out alone with young daughters; are they supposed to take their daughters to the men’s room when there’s no family restroom? Why not institute all-gender bathrooms with locking stalls (no urinals)? You can still have men’s and ladies’ rooms, but I have a feeling all-gender bathrooms would be well-used.

And seriously, making laws against transgender people in sports not only theoretically affects an infinitesimal number of people but is far more trouble than it’s worth, since in actuality it ensnares intersex people as well when chromosomes/gender assigned at birth are involved, since they sometimes have extra chromosomes or their body doesn’t react to testosterone even though they’re XY, for example. Biological gender is an awful lot more complex than many pretend. Besides, the only time gender-affirming surgery is done on minors tends to be on the intersex, often without their consent. It’s a long process to change gender, which begins with therapy and medication if indicated, and that medication often delays the very changes that are claimed to give trans women athletes a biological advantage and lowers the amount of testosterone, so there’s not much of an advantage. Even when medication-aided transition begins later than puberty, there’s not a great amount of advantage: Riley Gaines was not beaten by Lia Thomas, who began to transition in her late teens, but tied with her for fifth place in a swimming event. Thomas won only one NCAA title in that 2022 competition, which was her last, thanks to a ban by World Aquatics, and because of a deal between Penn State and the Trump administration, she lost that title and the only three program records she set at the school.

Beyond that, there are too many who believe that dissent is only allowed when their party is out of power, and that makes for danger for our democratic republic.

What’s needed now is sanity and civility, and a better understanding of the world in which we live, which is most decidedly not that of “Ozzie and Harriet.” That means, for one thing, continuing education not just for kids, but for adults (you should never think you can’t learn more), especially where it concerns our civic institutions. Open your mind and ignore party lines, which obscure the realities of the world and make us forget that we’re all humans who want the same things, like safety, freedom, and the right to live as we see fit as long as it doesn’t adversely affect others. Maybe join the plurality of us who are declared independents who don’t let parties dictate our votes or how we deal with others.

It means compassion. It means accepting that others may not believe in or do the same things you do but that doesn’t mean they’re not allowed to live as they want, again, as long as they don’t hurt others. That lesbian couple down the block? Let them live in peace and happiness. The Wiccan operating an occult shop? If she’s following the law, it’s her right; you don’t have to buy anything from her or darken her door. That woman who had to have an abortion because her baby would not survive or had already died and she wouldn’t be able to bear any more children otherwise? Let her mourn and move on. That dude flying the Trump flag on his home and truck? Let him be.

Unless these people are breaking laws and/or causing imminent physical harm to others, they’re free to live as they want. That’s what we should all want in a free country.

As my colleagues on the editorial page often say, we could all stand for a whole lot more lettin’ alone. Maybe then we might remember our shared humanity and be a lot more civil to each other.

When it’s this hot, every little bit helps.