Last week was tough, with too many important decisions being treated carelessly, too many people too full of themselves, and too many guest columns for the space available (which was why I didn’t write last week; since I don’t get paid to write, it’s no skin off my nose, but apparently the trolls think I’m off somewhere on a fainting couch because I can’t handle the pressure … but ya know, I would love a fainting couch, purple, of course).

So of course that means one of the kindest people to ever grace the planet had to shuffle off this mortal coil (followed the next day by another kind and creative soul, Tim Curry, who was reportedly far more down-to-earth and sweet than some of his characters would make him seem). But I don’t hate that Dolly Parton had to leave us; she’s been ill, and with her dear husband Carl already gone, we can’t begrudge her the long-deserved rest (seriously, that woman did not slow down for much!).

Dolly was a big part of my early childhood; in our family, we watched the umpteen syndicated country music shows on KFSM on Saturdays until 6 p.m. when we switched to KHBS to watch “Hee Haw” (evidenced by my tendency to break out in “Gloom, Despair and Agony On Me” and “Where O Where Are You Tonight” at the oddest times). Dolly was often on those shows, either with her mentor and former singing partner Porter Wagoner, or by herself. Dolly also happened to be a favorite of the family next door to us, where I spent many hours listening to and singing along with “Coat of Many Colors” and many others with my friend Jill (her family was churchier than mine, so the fact that we got to sing along with “Jolene” as well was a marvel).

Dolly’s voice was captivating and sweet, her words sincere, and when she smiled wide with those dimples, it seemed like the whole world was bathed in golden light.

Now that light has gone out, and the world seems dimmer.

Dolly’s gone, but her good works live on. Her Imagination Library (now facing funding cuts in some states) has sent more than 330 million free books to children, an important effort inspired by her father and aimed at encouraging literacy, especially in poverty-stricken areas (as a kid for whom most books were second-, third- and fourth-hand, I would have loved for the program to have been around back then). Royalties she received from Whitney Houston’s version of “I Will Always Love You” (an estimated $10 million) were invested in a Black Nashville neighborhood, which included building an office complex she called “the house that Whitney built.”

Dolly was a humanitarian and philanthropist who put her money where her mouth was, giving away much of what she earned to those less able to pull themselves up by their bootstraps (and there are a lot more of us than some like to believe, especially right now). Did she do it because she was a liberal snowflake who wanted to create dependency? If you think that, you don’t know Dolly, and have been indoctrinated by entirely too many partisan talking points. What guided her wasn’t politics (one of the reasons she turned down offers of presidential medals from both Donald Trump and Joe Biden), or what would most benefit her, but instead what good she could put out into the world. She wasn’t perfect, but when she was wrong, she would admit it and change what needed to be changed. As she said after removing “Dixie” from “Dixie Stampede,” “As soon as you realize that [something] is a problem, you should fix it. Don’t be a dumbass.”

Evangelical Christians hewed to the WWJD (What would Jesus do?) motto in the 1990s, but today perhaps that should be WWDD (What would Dolly Do?). Dolly led with kindness, which is what more of us should do. Sure, she occasionally had harsh words for some (especially those who sought to divide or to make Christianity’s big tent far less inclusive), but you can’t really say her heart wasn’t in the right place. And heck, Jesus wasn’t exactly a big fan of charlatans and hypocrites either, especially when it came to caring for the least of these, and those who are oppressed for reasons that are not their choice (like race, sexual orientation, etc.) that have no tangible negative effect on others (mere existence isn’t a capital offense, but things like pedophilia, on the other hand …).

So what would Dolly do?

🧔‍♀️ Be authentic. Look beyond the costumes and the wigs to who she actually was, which was a genuinely kind, open, loving and funny person. As she often said (and was quoted in the movie “Dumplin’,” which I watched again last Tuesday to remember her), “Find out who you are. And do it on purpose.”

Be the oddball you really are instead of making yourself smaller to fit what you think others want you to be. Don’t be afraid to be kind, goofy, crazy-haired or loud and proud if that’s who you really are inside. (For introverts like me, that’s a little tougher, but I can be myself in writing, so it’s at least a start.)

😁 Be optimistic. Admittedly, that’s a tough row to hoe for many of us these days, especially with so much economic (good frickin’ lord) and political strife going on, but there are still reasons to have hope. Dolly once said, “I make a point to appreciate all the little things in my life. I go out and smell the air after a good, hard rain. These small actions help remind me that there are so many great, glorious pieces of good in the world.”

I find a cuddle with a sweet fur-baby usually helps my mood, as does watching fireflies on a summer night. Time with friends also helps. Sometimes the silver lining takes a little looking to find, but it’s usually there.

😌 Be humble. Be hardworking, yes, but never forget that others contributed to your success, and that success isn’t more important than humanity. “I’ve always tried to never step on anybody to get where I am,” Dolly said. “I’ve had to walk around a few people, jump over a few of ‘em now and then, but I think you’re a true success when you’ve seen your dreams come true and you can take pride in how you did it, and take pride in and respect and appreciate the people that helped you get there.”

It takes nothing away from your success to acknowledge that others just might have had a hand in it (because they did, whether you think so or not; no one is completely self-made), and it adds to others’ estimation of you when you practice true humility. It also says a lot for you when you treat others as you wish to be treated.

🤣 Be unafraid to laugh at yourself. Dolly was quick to make light of her looks and what it made people assume about her, saying, “I’m not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I’m not dumb … and I also know that I’m not blonde.” She also said, “I am a self-made woman, and I have the doctor bills to prove it.” By making the joke herself, she took power away from those who might seek to get the upper hand on her with insults.

Sure, sometimes it can be hard to be self-deprecating without depressing yourself (lord, it’s hard for me to do that in regard to my finances, but everything else is easy), but acknowledging your shortcomings in a humorous way can help you become a better you. Plus, it ticks off those who just don’t like you.

💜 Be generous. While most of us don’t have the financial wherewithal to make the impact Dolly did, we can still be generous in other ways, with our time and talents. Whatever you can give, just do as Dolly did and give from the heart.

No gift from the heart is unwelcome. Well, maybe except for that mouse at 3 a.m. from your cat.

There will never be another Dolly. But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t aspire to be more like her and be the sparkle that she was. I think the world would be better off if we did.